Deal With Criticism

How to Deal With Criticism

Edited by RonPrice, IngeborgK, Catie, Maluniu and 19 others

Criticism is never fun, whether it's coming from a well-meaning English teacher or from your arch frenemy. If the criticism is meant to be constructive, then you can use it to become a more well-rounded person. And if it's only meant to harm you, then you can work on shaking it off like a bad habit. So how do you deal with it? Read these steps to find out.

Part 1 of 3: Changing Your Perspective

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   Know the difference between destructive and constructive criticism. This is the first step to being able to deal with criticism. You have to know where the feedback is coming from and understand the intentions of the person who is giving it to you. If it's a teacher or a superior, then chances are, the person only wants you to perform better; but when it's coming from a supposed friend, a frenemy, or even an enemy, then you have to wonder whether or not the person has your best interest in mind.
   • If you're sure that the criticism is completely invalid, totally off, and only meant to hurt you, then you can skip down to the second section to learn how to deal with destructive criticism.
   • Constructive criticism is, ideally, meant to help you. Destructive criticism is only intended to cause hurt.
   • Try to focus on the message as well as the delivery. It's hard to see that a person really is telling you something legitimate that you can work on if he or she is yelling at you or just acting like you're a nuisance.
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   Accept that you're not perfect. This is a great way to deal with criticism. If you want to be able to take a little bit of feedback, then you can't keep thinking that you can do no wrong. Nobody's perfect, so if you think you're perfect, then you're nobody. (Har, har.) Okay, but seriously: every person has flaws, and if you don't see any of yours, then you're not analyzing yourself as closely as you should.
   • Make a list of your 10 biggest flaws. That's right. 10! Can you think of 10 things that need improvement? How about 15? This exercise isn't meant to make you feel bad about yourself; it's only meant to make you see that you have room for improvement.
   • Think about all of the people you know. Can you name a single one who is perfect who isn't a movie star? And remember that even most movie stars have some flaws, however visibly small they may be.
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   Don't take it personally. If you want to know how to best deal with criticism, then you can't take it personally. If your boss says you've been a little less productive than usual lately, it's not because he thinks you're fat and lazy; it's because he wants you, his employee, to step up your game. If your best friend says that you have a tendency to zone out when she's talking to you, don't think that she's calling you a horrible friend and a zombie; she just wants you to communicate a little better.
   • If the criticism is constructive, then it's intended to guide you and to help you improve as a person, not to bring you down and make you feel inadequate.
   • If your teacher has given you rather critical feedback on a paper, it's not because she thinks you're stupid or annoying in class; it's because she thinks you have some work to do when it comes to making an argument.
4. 
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   Work on being less sensitive. If you always find yourself crying, getting defensive, and feeling generally upset when someone gives you what was supposed to be helpful feedback, then you have to start thickening your skin. Work on accepting your flaws and being able to hear about some areas where you can improve. If you never improve, then you'll be flatlining, and you don't want that, do you? Try to focus on the message and its intention to help you instead of focusing on all of the "mean" or "hurtful" things that were said to you.
   • Think about where the message is coming from. Chances are, your boss didn't just send you a terse email to be a jerk or to make you feel bad. He just probably wants you to do your job better.
   • Control your emotions. You don't have to tear up every time someone says a negative word.
   • Work on your reputation. If people think you are sensitive, they will be less likely to tell you the truth, and you don't want people to feel like they're walking around on eggshells whenever they talk to you.

Part 2 of 3: Dealing with Constructive Criticism

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   1
   Understand what you're really being told. If you want to deal with criticism, then you have to understand the message behind it. If you've determined that the criticism is meant to be constructive, then you have to break it down so you can start figuring out what to do next. Sometimes, you may be focused on the hurtful aspects of the feedback and your pride may be too wounded for you to see what is right in front of you.
   • Sure, you weren't happy with the "C" on your English paper. But was your teacher trying to tell you that you were stupid and a horrible writer? Probably not. She wanted to tell you to research your argument more, and to use more concrete evidence to back up your claims. It also wouldn't have hurt to actually meet the word limit, would it?
   • If your friend told you you're obsessed with yourself, sure that hurts. But could there be something helpful behind the message? Sure: your friend is telling you to be a little more empathetic, and to spend more time thinking about others and less time thinking about yourself.
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   2
   See if there's some truth to it. If the feedback is coming from a person who has your best interest in mind, then you have to consider the possibility that there really is some truth to those words. It's even more likely if you've heard similar comments before. If ten people told you you were selfish, or if your last three girlfriends told you you were emotionally distant, then they can't all be wrong, can they? Take a moment to consider the possibility that this person is really on to something.
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   Make a game plan for addressing it. Okay, you've decided that your English teacher, boss, boyfriend, or best friend is completely right, or at least somewhat right. Now, you've got to write down the thing you need to work on, and make a plan for addressing it. This can take a long time, and it's never too late to start. Once you come up with a plan, a way of adjusting your expectations and actions, you can begin to address the criticism and become a better person.
   • If your English teacher is right about you needing to do more research, then make a point of spending twice as much time reading up on your sources before you come up with an argument next time.
   • If your boss tells you you're disorganized, work on organizing your desk, Inbox, and your spreadsheets until you feel more in control.
   • If your boyfriend tells you you're too needy, work on giving him some space by spending more time alone or with your girlfriends.
4. 4
   Thank the person for being honest (if he's also being kind). If you have received some criticism that was delivered in a friendly and helpful way, or just in a way that was meant to be honest and clear, then take the time to thank the person and to say that you appreciate the fact that the person told you something that can make you an even better friend, girlfriend, student, or professional.
   • Thanking people who give you honest criticism is also a sign of maturity. Suck it up and say "thank you" even if you're gritting your teeth.
5. 5
   Stop making excuses. If someone is giving you valid criticism, stop making excuses for why that person is completely wrong, especially if you know that there is some truth to what he or she is saying. If you get defensive and make excuses, then the person won't be able to finish telling you exactly what he or she means, and you won't get the information you need to really improve. It's natural that we feel defensive and get the feeling that we can do no wrong, but it's important to hear people out before you cut them off to prove you're perfect.
   • If someone is in the middle of telling you something you can do to improve, don't say, "But actually, I already do that..." unless you feel like the person is really off base.
   • If your teacher says you need to work harder, don't give her a lame excuse for why you've been slacking off. Instead, note the feedback and try to address it.
   • It takes maturity to stay quiet instead of making excuses for why the person is wrong when you're getting valid feedback.
6. 6
   Remember that constructive criticism can make you a better person. Sure, it's tough to deal with even the most well-meaning criticism, especially if you're convinced you're perfect and that you can do no wrong. But if you're so invested in being an awesome person, then remind yourself that being aware of your flaws and shortcomings and making a plan for addressing them will make you an even more amazing person.
   • The next time you hear some constructive criticism, embrace it! It's kind of like what Kelly Clarkson said: "Whatever (criticism) doesn't kill you makes you stronger."

Part 3 of 3: Dealing with Destructive Criticism

1. 1
   Understand the person's true motives. If you have recognized the criticism as completely destructive and hurtful, then you can think about why the person might have said such a thing to make yourself feel better. Maybe the girl was jealous of your new outfit and said you dress like a skank. Maybe a guy said you're not a good writer because he's jealous that you just published a story. Maybe the person was just in a bad mood and felt like taking it out on someone. Whatever the reason, remind yourself that it had little to do with who you are.
   • Put yourself in the person's shoes. Understand where he is really coming from. Though the words will still sting, it might make you feel better. If your coworker yelled at you for no reason, but you remember that he is going through a divorce, then you'll start to be a bit more understanding, won't you?
2. 
   2
   Look for the grain of truth. Okay, so maybe the criticism was delivered in a way that was completely mean, unnecessary, and hurtful, and most of the things that were said were way off base. Maybe your co-worker said you were "a complete mess" or your friend said you were "totally selfish" for what you think was no reason at all. Take a minute to think about it, though: do you need to brush up on your organizational skills? Have you been known to be a little selfish from time to time? If so, then maybe you should reconsider your actions without getting hurt by the way the criticism was given.
   • Sure, it's very hard to take someone seriously if they are yelling at you, calling you names, or generally treating you with completely disrespect. This makes it nearly impossible to take a word they say seriously. But if you want to be the bigger person, try to find the underlying message if there is one.
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   Remember that words can never hurt you. What was that thing your mother told you about "sticks and stones" not being able to break your bones? Sure, you thought it was stupid in third grade, but now, you're a lot older, and it's starting to make sense. In the end, destructive criticism isn't made up of bullets, swords, or atomic bombs -- it's just a series of words connected together in a way designed to make you feel terrible. So, remind yourself that criticism only consists of a bunch of words.
   • Criticism can't steal your money, slap you across the face, or crash your car. So don't let it get to you.
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   Stay confident. The most important thing you can do is maintain your confidence. No matter what people are saying about you, you have to stay strong, remember who you are, and not let other people influence your own self-worth. Being confident doesn't mean thinking that you're flawless, but it does mean loving who you are and how you look. If you're truly confident, then you won't let haters get you down and make you think less of yourself.
   • If you're unhappy with who you are, ask yourself why. Make a list of a few things you don't like about yourself and figure out what you can change.
   • Being confident also means accepting the things you cannot change about yourself. So, you don't like that you're so tall. Do you plan on slouching for the rest of your life, or will you start to love your long legs after all?
   • Hanging out with people who make you feel good about yourself will also go a long way in making you feel more confident. If you're hanging with people who always bring you down, then yeah, you're not going to feel good about yourself.
5. 5
   Keep doing what you're doing. So...you've heard that someone said you're a brown-noser. Will you start participating less in class? Or your co-worker has told you you're too type A. Are you going to stop being who you are if it's working for you? Of course not. If you haven't received a valid criticism and know that what people are telling you is only only being said because of jealousy, anger, or mean-spiritedness, then there's no need to change your routine to please people.
   • If the criticism has no basis whatsoever, then the best thing you can do is to ignore it completely.
   • Don't feel bad if you're not able to push all of these negative words aside right away. It takes practice to stop caring about what people think.

Encouragement Works Better Than Criticism

Positive Encouragement Works Better Than Criticism

Manisha Goel

Emotions can greatly impact an employee's productivity. That is why a happy, satisfied and secure person works much better than someone who feels worried, insecure and stressed. Negative emotions like fear, anxiety, frustration and stress narrow hamper your cognitive abilities, hinder one's focus and affects one's concentration. But positive emotions do just the opposite and help improve concentration, focus and intellectual abilities.

Encouraging a positive environment in the office is bound to ensure productivity boost. Needless to say, a happy and satisfied person works better than an insecure person who feels scared and stressed.

How positive encouragement helps

Positive reinforcement is a simple technique that immediately changes the behavior of the person concerned. Human brain works in a positive way when it sees acceptance and a positive environment around it. Moreover, an employee's productivity gets a boost when he/she feels happy and upbeat. The employee is more likely to perform better in tasks that require brainstorming and will come up with new ideas for improvement. An employee who receives positive encouragement does not fear to take initiatives that will improve his/her contribution and productivity.

Criticism mounts when a team leader or employer sees undesired behavior and want to correct the same, but doesn't know how to resolve it. In such a situation, harsh criticism won't get the desired result as the leader does not have a specific solution that can resolve the issue.

Criticism often leads to negative emotions. Whenever there is anger, frustration, fear, anxiety and stress, employees are less likely to focus on work and their intellectual abilities decrease. Negative emotions will take over and the person will struggle to think clearly, won't be able to co-ordinate well with others and won't feel enthusiastic about new ideas and projects. Negative emotions can affect his daily routine, reducing productivity in the process.

How you communicate matters a lot
How things are communicated to an employee would matter most in terms of impact. In fact, the tone of the message could have more impact than the actual message itself. When negative feedback is shared with a warm tone, the employee takes it as positive interaction. On the other hand, some good news or feedback shared with a negative tone could upset the employee. Therefore, to perform well at work, it is important to be upbeat and happy.

Things to do for better productivity

Make these important changes in your behavior to perform better at work:

1. Listen and show empathy
Make your colleagues feel comfortable by your understanding and listening abilities. You should try and nurture a supportive and problem-solving attitude towards your team.

2. Be a caring colleague
Listen to your colleagues carefully and keep a tab on what they are feeling. A negative person will spread negativity among others. Therefore, to control negative emotions prevailing in the team, simply listen to your team-mates and help them offload their tension and frustration.

3. Have healthy interpersonal relations
Try to improve your relations with your team-members, especially if you are in a big team where you may not be able to interact with all your colleagues on a daily basis. Also, encourage each member of your team to have healthy relations with each other that will ensure a positive work environment.

Get iOS 7.1's Best Features On Your Jailbroken Device

How To Get iOS 7.1's Best Features On Your Jailbroken Device

Thorin Klosowski, Gawker Media

iOS 7.1 didn't bring a ton of new features the table , but the few tweaks and improvements it did add make iOS a lot more useable. Unfortunately, iOS 7.1 isn't jailbroken, but if you want to keep your jailbreak and still get the new features, you just need to track down a few tweaks.

Get the New Calendar

The Calendar in iOS 7.1 got a few handy little improvements, including a better list view that makes it easier to read your upcoming plans and new holidays. It doesn't sound like much, but it really does make the iOS 7 calendar easier to use. Thankfully, jailbreakers can get the new calendar with Gregorian. You'll find it by searching for Gregorian in Cydia in Ryan Petrich's repository. You'll need to add that repository manually. Just head into Cydia, tap Manage > Sources, then Edit and add: http://rpetri.ch/repo/

Speed Up Animations

Animations are a lot faster in iOS 7.1, which makes it so opening and closing apps, navigating between pages, and moving between folders a lot less nausea inducing than on iOS 7. Thankfully, you don't have to upgrade to get the improved speed. Speed Intensifier is a free tweak that allows you to set the speed of animations to your liking.

Tone Down the White

iOS 7.1 added a handy feature to tone down the whiteness so your phone doesn't blind you at night. While this isn't directly possible with a jailbroken phone, you can use F.lux to get a similar effect. Basically, once F.lux is installed, you can play around with different settings to change the color temperature. With a little tweaking you can get a similar effect to the one available in iOS 7.1.

Disable Parallax

You can disable the parallax effect in iOS 7 pretty easily , but you lose the nifty animations when you do it. iOS 7.1 added a special configuration just for parallax, but you can easily get it on your jailbroken device too. Just download HiddenSettings7 and Parallax enaBlur. Once both are downloaded, you'll get an option to disable parallax on your home screen or your lock screen, just like in iOS 7.1.

Get the iOS 7.1 Icons

iOS 7.1 made a few very subtle changes to the icons that most people won't even notice, but if you want to keep things on the level, this Winterboard theme gives you the new icons for Phone, FaceTime, and Messages.

Add the Automatic Flash Indicator

Another subtle change in iOS 7.1 is a new flash indicator for the camera. When your flash is about to go off, you'll know it based on the icon turning yellow. It's a little thing, but it's actually incredibly helpful for those times when you don't want to accidentally flash someone. Yellow Flash 7 adds that exact function to iOS 7.

Download Torrent Files

3 Best Android Apps for Download Torrent Files

By
Shubham Yadav

Perrhaps most of you are using torrents on your desktop to download movies, games, software etc. but here in this post i am going to show you 3 best torrent downloader android apps, so using these apps you can directly download torrents files on your Android Smartphone. 

3 Best Android Torrent Download App

1. tTorrent Lite – Torrent Client
tTorrent Lite is one of the popular torrent apps with thousands of fans with their loyal reviews. This android app supports multiple torrent downloading with queuing feature. If you want, you can limit upload/download speed.

and what makes this app best is, it has IP filtering support, Proxy Support, and easy to search torrents, but the lite version also came with some limitations- it is ad supported, only wifi support for download and the maximum download speed is upt0 250kB/s. You can get its paid version for $3.99.
2. µTorrent Beta – Torrent App
Probably you all listen about uTorrent, as it secures worlds most popular desktop client. This app developed by the same team that invented the BitTorrent protocol.

This apps provides simple layout to search and discover torrents in your android phones and tablets. This app has not any speed or size limits on mobile downloads.
With this app you can also access exclusive content from featured artists.

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3. aTorrent – Torrent Downloader
aTorrent is a native P2P BitTorrent client with several features including, magnet links, open torrents right from browser, no speed limited, partial download, multiple parallel downloading, Option to pause downloads when external power supply is not connected etc.

With this app you can also download large file (for FAT32 SD cards – 4Gb maximum, for internal storage – unlimited) and this app supported following protocols- BitTorrent P2P, DHT, Advanced DHT Bootstrap, Magnet links, HTTP & UDP trakers.

 

Norton Antivirus 2014 Product Key for 6 months

Norton Antivirus 2014 Product Key for 6 months Free....

By 

Shubham Yadav

 

Free download Norton Antivirus 2014 Product key for 6 months by using the below steps. Norton Antivirus provides bullet proof security against viruses, spyware, worms, trojans, bots and other harmful malicious software.

Actually this promotional giveaway is for Norton Antivirus 2012, but you can use the same product key to activate the latest Norton Antivirus 2014 as well.

Norton Antivirus 2014 6 months Free license key/Product Number

Follow the below steps to get a free license key of Norton Internet Security 2014 for 6 months(180 days).
Step 1- Firstly, go to this promotions page and download Norton Antivirus 2012. Norton will offer 6-months Norton AntiVirus 2012 product key to new customers only. So download and install the 2012 version on your computer.
Step 2- After installation, an activate screen should pop-up, so just enter your email address and create Norton Account.
Step 3- Now Sign in to your Norton account from here. then click on Product Details, and there you will find your 6 months Product Key of Norton Antivirus, so just copy the serial number and use them further to activate Norton AntiVirus 2014.
Step 4- Now, uninstall the 2012 version from your computer and download & install Norton Antivirus 2014 version on your computer.
Step 5- After installation, renew Norton AntiVirus 2014 with the latest Norton product key you saved in step 3 and you will successfully added 6 months or 180 days of subscriptions to the latest Norton version.
Hope the above steps helps to get genuine 6 months license key or product key of Norton Antivirus 2014 without paying a penny.

 

Friday Special

Friday Special

Bismillah-Hir-Rahman-Nir-Raheem
Narated By Abu Huraira : While the Prophet was saying something in a gathering, a Bedouin came and asked him, "When would the Hour (Doomsday) take place?" Allah's Apostle continued his talk, so some people said that Allah's Apostle had heard the question, but did not like what that Bedouin had asked. Some of them said that Alllah's Apostle had not heard it. When the Prophet finished his speech, he said, "Where is the questioner, who enquired about the Hour (Doomsday)?" The Bedouin said, "I am here, O Allah's Apostle ." Then the Prophet said, "When honesty is lost, then wait for the Hour (Doomsday)." The Bedouin said, "How will that be lost?" The Prophet said, "When the power or authority comes in the hands of unfit persons, then wait for the Hour (Doomsday.)"

Run any Android Apps and games on desktop using Windroy

How to Run any Android Apps and games on desktop using Windroy

By Shubham Yadav 

Windroy is a free program for windows that allows you to run android operating system on your desktop. Windroy formerly known as Windows Android that running Android with Windows kernel.

Using Windroy program you can run any android applications or games on your desktop, and the best thing with windroy is it can support full-screen mode.

How to install any Android App on Windroy

Like other android emulator, windroy does not come with the official Google Play app, so in order to install android application, you should have to follow manually method i.e. you need the actual APK files and then allows apps to be installed from unknown sources.

By default windroy is set to full screen mode, but you can change it’s size by set an environment variable WINDROY_RESOLUTION=widthxheight.For example, WINDROY_RESOLUTION=800×600.
To do so, you’ll need to right-click My Computer >> Properties, click on Advanced system settings, then the Environment variables button and set up a new variable with name of WINDROY_RESOLUTION and assign your desired resolution.
Currently windroy program emulates Android 4.0.3 operating system and supports Windows Vista, 7 & Windows 8.
Download Windroy